Oh Lord!

Things just seem to happen to me.  I’ve had a shoulder problem going on for a little while now and have been going to physical therapy.  Things just don’t seem to be healing quickly enough for me so I decided to throw a chiropractor into the mix.  My brother had a similar problem and said that his chiropractor helped him.  Well… what the heck?  I thought that I’d give it a shot.  What could it hurt?  I checked with a couple of my family members and made an appointment with the same chiropractor that at least three people in my family go to.  They all said that he does a great job.

Mind you… I’ve never been to a chiropractor before and I cannot stand it when my kids pop their knuckles.  Maybe that could be because I sat in the room with my youngest daughter when she was five years old on a follow-up appointment after she had broken her arm.  They took the cast off and checked it.  The doctor told me that her bone was healing incorrectly and they were going to have to re-break her arm.  I figured that we’d make a follow-up appointment to come back for that procedure.  I was not prepared for him to walk back across the room, take her forearm with his bare hands and break it.  I will NEVER forget that sound.  Got to hand it to her… she was a trooper.  One little tear ran down her cheek. 

Last night I was a little worried about my trip to the chiropractor.  I’m not a fan of pain and I didn’t figure that there was any way that I would be able to relax enough for this to work.

I drove through a horrible snowstorm and slick streets to get to the chiropractor.  I walked into the office – which is a little older – but not too bad.  He escorted me back to the examination room.  We talked a bit.  I told him that I had my x-rays from the hospital from a few weeks ago if he wanted to see them.  He did.  He couldn’t get them to come up on his laptop.  He had to take them to his partner’s office to view them.  He came back and explained to me that there were four areas that needed some adjusting and then he explained to me how the process works.

He started off by performing a vibrating massage on my back and upper arms.  Then my back had to rest a bit before he was going to make the adjustments needed.  I heard a beep and then heard him say, “My daily scripture,” and then he proceeded to read the daily scripture.  I was lying face down on the table and was not expecting this.  I was glad that I was face down because I’m sure that I had a surprised look on my face.

When I got done at the chiropractor, I called my sister.  Our conversation went something like this:

Sister:    Hello?

Me:        Hey, I just got done at the chiropractor.

Sister:    How’d it go?

Me:        It went well; however, you failed to prepare me for my daily scripture reading… (chuckle)

Sister:    Are you kidding me?

Me:        Could I make this stuff up?

Sister:    (Laughing hysterically) He’s never done that with me!

I talked to my brother and informed him that I went to his chiropractor and also received my daily scripture.  He chuckled!  He said that he’s never read him scripture; but, he has read to his wife before.

I talked to my sister whose husband also goes to the same chiropractor.  She got a kick out of this happening to me also.  She asked her husband.  He had never received that service either.  However, his smart alec comment was, “I guess he knows who needs it!” 

On that note, I guess I’ll have to agree.  I will go back because my shoulder is already feeling a bit better tonight already.

What's That I Hear?

Tonight I left work late… it was dark out.  I put my bag in the back seat and I thought that I heard someone say my name and it sounded like they were REALLY close! It gave me chills.  I turned around slowly and no one was there and there wasn’t anyone in the parking lot either.  I was dumbfounded.  I could have sworn that someone said my name!  I stood there for a minute and then realized that I had one of those darn Staples Easy buttons in my bag.  When I set my bag down it pushed the button and it said “That was easy.”  Evidently, the end of the word “easy” sounds to me like my name!  I got in my car and laughed at myself!

Then there was the time that I was working late in the office on a proposal.  It was winter and it was dark out.  I was running back and forth between the printer up front and the conference room in the back picking up items that I needed to bind.  There was a large window up front by the printer.  On one of my trips up to the printer, I noticed my oldest sister outside the window looking in at me.  (This was during the time that we were taking care of my mother.)  I figured that she had just run downtown to pick something up for supper.  I waved at her and she waved at me at the same time.  And then I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t she have a coat on?  It’s freezing out!”  Right after that was about the time that I realized that I had waved at my own reflection.  I died laughing!  There was a bar directly across the street with windows that faced our office.  I wonder if anyone saw me and wondered what the heck I was doing!

I thought it was hilarious that I thought that my own reflection was my oldest sister.  (I guess we do look alike!)  So, I told my family about my stupidity!  It’s really funny how things work out.  My sister called her husband and was going to tell him about my idiocy.  She called him.  She “says” he answered the phone.  Then she started telling him the story and then I was on the phone mimicking her.  She figured that she must have called my cell phone by mistake.  I mimicked her a couple of times, until she figured out that she hadn’t called me but was getting feedback of herself through her phone!  (We sound alike too!)  Either that was a really strange coincidence, or “someone” was playing a trick on us... Dad?!  ;0)

Fond Childhood Memories?

Recently, I went to an orthopedic surgeon for a consultation.  I will preface this by saying that I have always had a disconnected collar bone and every time I have x-rays taken they bring up the fact that I have a fractured collarbone.  This is a hereditary thing. I have two brothers and a niece that also have the same condition.

Now this particular day, I was sitting in the doctor’s office and I guess that he did not want to accept the fact that I was born that way.  He asked me if I could ever remember falling hard.  My response to the doctor was “No.”  Later that afternoon I got thinking about that question and came up with the time that:

• I was knocked off of the top of the 10’ slide while at playground.
• My brother talked me into curling up on the inside of the tire swing so that his friend could swing me around by the tail of the rope really fast and then slammed me into the side of the tree (by accident – I’m sure).
•  I rode my little sister’s brand new light-weight banana seat bike (with a sissy bar) up and down the road that had just had new rock laid.  I lost control and hit a tree knocked myself out and banged up the new bike pretty good.
•  I was in high school and totaled my boyfriend’s Volkswagen bug when a lady turned in front of me.  I hit my head on the windshield, the passenger seat came detached and gave me a beating, the back seat flipped out and the battery that was under it flipped over.  (I don’t suggest having an accident with a 70’s Volkswagen bug!)

Those were just some of the minor injuries that every kid experiences growing up, right?  Then there other childhood memories like the time:

• When I was four and my sister talked me into putting the temple of my head on the corner of a wooden desk telling me that I’d be able to hear the train coming down the tracks (we lived on a dead end road and the tracks were at the end of our road).  When I got my head placed just right, she smacked me and punctured a hole in my head.  I didn’t even realize that I was bleeding until I went to the living room and my dad saw me!  Evidently, it didn’t hurt – that is until I saw all of the blood!!  LOL!!
• I jumped off of the bed and my kneecap landed on the corner of the metal dollhouse puncturing a hole in my knee.  I wonder if that’s why Dad made us a three-story corrugated doll house after that complete with corrugated chairs, beds and dressers!
• The time I stepped barefoot on a piece of paper that had floated out of our little bonfire and blistered the entire bottom of my foot.
•  I also considered myself a tenderfoot.  I was not good at walking on the rocks in the driveway barefoot.  Remember before I mentioned that the railroad tracks were at the end of our road?  When the circus would come to town, the train would run on those tracks and we’d run to the end of the road to wave at the people on the train.  One particular time, I didn’t have enough notice that the train was coming and I didn’t have enough time to put on my shoes.  My little sister and I (gingerly) ran down the road barefoot to see the train.  There was a family that had moved into one of the houses at the end of the road not too long before that and they had two Doberman pinchers.  My sister and I were waving at the train and I heard barking and I ran home leaving my little sister to be eaten by the dogs!  I don’t think I felt a single rock touch my feet on the way home.  I must have been flying!  I remember getting to our driveway and looking back and she was running back and forth across the road with the dogs chasing her until the owners came out and called them off!
• She should have learned her lesson that I am not a protector when it comes to dogs!  We lived in a neighborhood that had a lot of people’s dogs running wild.  We referred to the neighborhood that we grew up as having an “end with the mean dogs.”  Usually, if I was going to ride my bike anywhere, I would go out of the neighborhood at the end that didn’t have “the mean dogs.”  One day she and I were riding at the wrong end of the neighborhood for some reason or another.  I was on my older sister’s 10-speed (with the curly handle bars) and my little sister was on one of our single-speed bikes.  A pack of dogs (it seemed like a pack at the time – probably three dogs) started running after us, I shifted the bike into high gear and hightailed it out of there.  I'm sure that I could have given Lance Armstrong a run for his money!  Again, I remember looking back and she was surrounded by the dogs.  I’m still not sure how she got away unscathed.
• As long as we’re on dog stories… there was also the time that I rode my bike to McDonald’s and grabbed a fish sandwich.  I was in a hurry to get home; so, instead of staying there to eat my sandwich, I decided to just eat when I got home.  Instead of going the long way around to get home, I decided to chance riding through the “dog end” of the neighborhood.  Needless to say, I never did get to eat my sandwich.  I sacrificed it to, Ralph, the German shepherd that was chasing me!  I figured better my sandwich than my leg!

Those are just a few of the things that happened during my childhood.  I just think of my poor mom and dad… my incidents were minor and I’m certain that they weren’t aware of everything that all eight of us were up to.  There are some funny stories that don’t involve me but involve my siblings.  I’ll save those for some other ice stormy day!

Who's On First

Sorry, Steve... you're my first "victim!"

Mom & Aaryn

Our mother passed away in 2007.  She had a debilitating stroke a few years earlier.  She was in a nursing home for a while; however, she didn't like it there and we felt that we were really doing most of the work taking care of her ourselves so we moved her back to her house and took care of her there with less intrusion and she was a lot happier.  Nothing against the nursing home folks, they were great; but, it was just a lot more fun being at home.  When she was in the nursing home four of us took care of  her in shifts.  We just kept up the shifts when we moved her home.  My oldest brother had the weekday early morning shift feeding her breakfast and taking care of her until noonish.  Then my oldest sister got off work and fed her lunch and took care of her until either my older sister or I would get there to feed her supper and stay with her until she went to sleep.  My oldest sister (who actually lives about an hour away) stayed in town at Mom's all week and usually stuck around in the evening also and then would go home on the weekend and my older sister and I would alternate staying at Mom's house all weekend.

We had so much fun - especially late on Sunday nights when it was Silent Movie Sunday on one of the cable channels and Cindy and I would make up our own lines for the movies!  We'd crack her up!  Mom might not have been able to talk; but, she sure could laugh!

I know... I know... you're thinking what could possibly be funny about this?!!  Well, give me a minute and I'll get there.

Groucho

I was pretty entertaining to my mom.  Sometimes I almost felt like all I had to do was walk in the door and she was laughing at me!  (Remember in my first blog post I mentioned that laughter is the best medicine.  One thing that she kept right up to the very end was her sense of humor!)  I grabbed lunch one afternoon and stopped up at Mom's and was sitting with her entertaining her with some stories when I noticed that she had a goofy look on her face and her expression wasn't changing.  I was in the bathroom with her and Steve was in the living room.  I yelled for Steve to call 911.  Poor Steve has NEVER had to call 911 for anything before.  I don't remember if we had a land line telephone in her house at that time or not; but, Steve was using his cell phone.  I got a wash cloth and was trying to get her to respond.  Steve popped into the doorway and said frantically, "What do I dial?!" My response was, "9-1-1."  Now, I'm in the bathroom - freaking out - still trying to get her to respond.  Steve shows back up in the doorway with the phone to his ear and says, "What's the number?!"  I'm thinking - "It's only three numbers and two of them are the same.  What isn't he getting?!!  So, I respond more slowly (and probably irritatedly) "9---1---1!"  Then he said, "No... the house number!"  I think that he ended up going outside and looking at the front of the house.

Now, in Steve's defense, he did have to relay a message to me from the 911 operator to calm down before I hyperventilated!!  LOL!

(Taking Steve home one night after that, I told him that I realized why he bought the house he did.  All four numbers in his address are the same number - that ought to be easy for him to remember!)

Anyway... In the meantime, I had called Cindy and she flew to Mom's from work - beating the paramedics.  Then all of the paramedics showed up and that tiny house was FULL!

They transported her to the hospital and worked some magic and she started to respond.  The first thing I told her about when she was a little more with it was Steve's and my version of "Who's on First!"  I'm sure the hospital staff thought that we were crazy all cackling in the emergency room!  I can still hear her laughing about it!

I love the Canon of St. Paul's Cathedral.  The last part is:http://bit.ly/Up0ZYJThe last part is:

Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

When we're all get together again, the people on Earth will probably hear us howling with laughter from above! I hope it's from above anyway!!  ;0)

http://bit.ly/Up0ZYJ

Let's Get This Party Started

Ah... Yes... My Funny Family...
My brother started a blog about his genealogy research that he's been doing and mentioned in one of this posts that I could have an entire blog about one trip that we took together along with one of my sisters.  And, I got thinking that he's probably right.  I made updates via Facebook when we were on our trip; but, if I would have had a blog started it would have been hilarious!

I have to tell you that I grew up in a large family with eight kids (I'm Kid #7) plus two parents all in a three bedroom house (no pets).  Maybe we were a little crowded; but, it sure didn't feel like it.  One bathroom for everyone to share. No air conditioning. No color television until sometime in the late 70's.   (I'd like to see some of the kids nowadays try to survive on that kind of lifestyle!  LOL!)  We are still a very close family and do a lot of things together. There was always a lot of laughter growing up and there still is a lot of laughter!  They say it's the best medicine and I believe it!!

This blog will be about the funny stuff that happens to me and those around me!  It will probably jump around.  I'll have some new stuff and will also have some old funny stories/happenings.  Some names may be changed to protect the innocent!

My Tornado Dream
I was always teased because I have some extraordinarily strange/funny dreams.  I think that every year that we did a family gift exchange of gag gifts, I always got some type of dream interpretation book.  I've tried to read a couple of them; but, they don't mean anything to me.  One time there was a new sleep clinic opening in our state and as a promotion they advertised on the radio that you could call an 800 number and this gal would interpret your dreams.  My mom came over and told me about it.  Of course I had to call!  I took my telephone (which was tethered to the wall - that's how long ago it was) and stretched the cord all of the way into my washroom and closed the door to tell this lady my dream while my mother kept an eye on my daughters.  I felt like a fool telling her my most famous dream.

I had a dream about these tornadoes that came into town and they were beautiful cartoon Hawaiian tornado ladies (search Google images for Hula Girl Pinup Cartoon and you'll get a decent idea of what they looked like).  They were cartoon Hawaiian ladies with their hair up swept into a French twist with a flower in their hair, leis around their necks, bikini tops (just like they were going to a luau) and from the hips down they were spinning tornadoes.  I was in the bathroom taking cover with my daughters because the tornado sirens were going off when I heard a knock at the door.  I crawled from the bathroom to the living room on my hands and knees to answer the door.  It was my mother, brother and one of my sisters wanting to know if the girls and I wanted to go and grab a bite to eat.  For some reason, even though I HAD been taking cover, I got the girls and we left the house to go eat with them.  We were on the highway on the outskirts of town and I spotted these tornadoes (about six of them).  One of the tornado ladies tried to knock down a house but it was too much for her.  She bumped into the house and her tornado stopped spinning and she collapsed (cartoonishly fainting - I'm also picturing Mike Meyers on Saturday Night Live when he plays the older Jewish lady being "verklempt") on the front stoop of the house.  The lead tornado lady spotted my sister riding in the front seat and gave us the evil eye and started heading for us.  I got my sister out of the front seat and made her get to the back.  I told her that I thought the tornado was jealous of her boobs!  The dream interpreter told me that the tornadoes represented chaos in my life and the tornado headed for us represented me being jealous of my sister's maternal instinct.  The chaos may have been right at that time; but, I don't agree with the jealousy of my sister's maternal instinct!  See?!  Who dreams stuff like this?!!  LOL!  They are the most vivid colorful dreams.  I wish that there was a way to record them.  Or, I wish that I had been gifted the talent to draw and could recreate my dreams on paper.  When I tell my family my dreams, sometimes you should see the looks on their faces!  Hilarious!